Pain, Loss & Life

April 2, 2013

It has been quite some time since I've been able to post anything to a blog. For the past few months I've been battling multiple run-arounds with an incredibly tenacious flu-bug that will not relent. Antibiotics, OTC remedies, home remedies--nothing works.  I would start to panic, but there are so many people around here who have it, or have had it, and they fought tooth and nail to get over it. The hitch is that is is not a full blown so-sick-you-think-you'll-die variety. It is a milder, but far more hard to shake bug. Makes me wonder if it is a "legit" bug or a manufactured one being tested on U.S. citizens. Would not be the first time.

Anyway, I've felt sluggish and achey, really tired for what seems forever. Of course that could be the seasonal flare up of my RA and that makes everything pale under a haze of pain.

The recent weeks have been difficult as I've watched family and friends go through some very painful and very scary things. I won't go in to detail as that would intrude on their privacy, but it hurts to see those you care about suffer in any way.

This past weekend was a long and difficult one. My dear friend, fuzzy buddy and feline companion passed away. I've known this kid since we rescued him from the SOB that was going to shoot him. I don't want to go into that or I will be apt to pick up a shovel and beat the bastard black and blue as rage and grief crowd in again at the thought of never getting to know this beautiful kid.

I would rather introduce you to a sweet soul who was the source of so much joy; a tender spirit that was loving and fiercely protective, who could be such a badass macho dude, yet be put in his place by one look from an old-timer female kitty.

"Dizzy" as we called him, which was a nickname that stuck after Rizolvir became Riz, then Rizzy and when he grew goofy and playful turned into Diddy and at last Dizzy. You know how you pick a perfect name for your pet (or your child!) and it gets shortened into something you never would have expected!

Dizzy was a massive black cat, long haired and fluffy. He was also part Maine Coon and simply gorgeous to look at. As he got older he hated anything black: my shoes, purse, roses, stuffed Halloween cat. If it was black he had an instant hatred of it. We connected this hatred to the time in 2007 when the power went out due to a nasty ice storm. Since that time, Dizzy had a night light on so he would not be afraid of the dark. The irony of a black cat hating all things (and creatures) black, when he was the blackest, fluffiest thing ever did not escape us.

For those relics who still claim that black cats are evil, I kindly ask you to go fuck yourselves you ignorant, backwards assholes.

Black cats are no different than white ones, orange ones, striped ones or any other color or blend there of. Do not be afraid of adopting a black cat or dog. These kids need good homes with stable sane people who are not living in the dark ages or believing in sadistic fairy tales. Be kind: take in a needy rescue animal. Your life will be enriched!

In the end, one of my best and dearest friends passed in our arms quietly. He was not in pain, he was not frightened. He was held and loved and knew the safety of his people as he had since six weeks of age when we rescued him and his sister.

A huge hole has been left in our lives and hearts as we mourn the passing and loss of Dizzy, but we hold dear to the knowledge that he had a good life, a long life, and we could be there to comfort him.

While I'm usually not keen to share photos online as there have been some damn weird things happen, I will share a photo or two of Dizzy.

Rest in Peace, Dizzy, safe and under the gracious protection of Bast.